beautiful living: memories and thank you’s

After the birth of my son I took some time off from work. I had wanted to spend my days nurturing this new being. Not that you need to take time off to do this. You don’t, but for me I was seeking uninterrupted time to soak in my newborn.

As all new mothers can testify, those early days are spent in a state of sleep deprivation. When I don’t get enough sleep I giggle – A LOT. Like uncontrollable giggles. It’s my bodies’ way of getting me through. One night at some horrible hour like 3am my son did something that scared me. I screamed. My husband jumped out of bed and ran. I had startled him and his reaction was to run and run… and run. This of course gave me the giggles. My almost naked husband ran (and ran) while I sat in bed, holding our child, laughing uncontrollable. There was something about hearing him run through our dark home that was the funniest thing to me. Ever few moments I’d see a flash and then he’d be gone again, still running. After about two laps around every room in our home he stopped, unamused, out of breath, attempting to collect his thoughts. He panted a bit and then he requested to know what the problem was.

Around my third month off, for my sanity as well as the sanity of my marriage, I had become better at managing my sleep. After my husband would leave for work I’d gather and fluff all the pillows I could find. Then, I’d bring Graycen into bed and as I cradled him in my arms we would both fall asleep. When we woke again, I’d feed him and we’d lounge in bed a bit more before starting our day at noon. Perhaps some people are reading this and thinking noon but there was no one to see and nowhere to be. Those are the days I loved most and so instead, we lounged in bed. Some days I’d try to make it educational by reading or playing but most days we would gaze at each other and simply be still.

Graycen is 16 months old now. To simply be still is – impossible.

On Thursday morning at 5:30am my husband made his way out the door to Lenox Hill Hospital for outpatient surgery. At that same time my son made his way into my arms. I was at a loss with that to do. Graycen had been in his bed chatting and moaning for almost two hours. I second guessed my decision before doing it but I decided we should go and lay in mommies’ bed. There was that moment of fear. Fear of who my child might morph into. These days Graycen see’s our bed as a playground. He screams with glee whenever we lift him onto the mattress. He beams a bright smile as he jumps and scurry from one end to the next. And then there is the bed which he views as his muse. Something he can use as a prop that allows him access to our nightstands where there are clocks and radios for his amusement and delight. I get so much joy from watching his excitement but in the early morning hour I feared that he wouldn’t be able to sleep. I needed sleep and as we laid in bed it appeared that I was in luck. The energy wasn’t there and instead he just laid in my arms like a newborn. I smiled all day as it seems like ages since we lounged in bed just gazing and soaking each other in. I never fell back asleep but it was worth it.

The evolution of bed lounging.

Video Still: Graycen first days of lounging

Video Still: Graycen first days of lounging

 

 

Graycen at 11 weeks with a deep affection for the headboard

Graycen at 11 weeks with a deep affection for the headboard

Graycen at 11 weeks

Graycen at 11 weeks mastering the art of being still

Making a family day out of lounging around

Making a family day out of lounging around

 

How beautiful is this! The hospital where my husband had his surgery this past Thursday gave him a thank you card upon discharge. It was hand signed by each of the nurses that oversaw his care, thanking him for using Lenox Hill Hospital. I thought it was a lovely gesture.

Thank you card, Lenox Hill

Thank you card, Lenox Hill

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